Rating: PG

Disclaimer: The characters of that great TV masterpiece M*A*S*H belong to their respective companies, I am borrowing them for writing fan fiction, and I am not making a profit from them thank you to 20th Century Fox!! M*A*S*H Forever!!!

Hawkeye's Nightmares Answered

by Steph T.

It was one of those lazy after noon's that had every one in M*A*S*H relaxing, enjoying the fact that there was no surgery, except for Frank, B.J and Hawkeye. Hawkeye and B.J were playing an intermit game of checkers, while Frank was throwing his clothes and garments around like crazy in search for his watch. As Hawkeye suddenly realized a move that would win him the game, an item of Frank's game flying over hitting the game board...

"FRANK, you moron look at what you've done!" yelled Hawkeye standing up.

"Yea, now we have to search for all the pieces!" B.J quipped in.

"That's not the point, i could've won that game!" Hawkeye was going red in the face.

Frank let out one of his annoying high pitched laughs "You should've moved faster, Pierce."

"Want me to move faster, eh, Frank?" Hawkeye then leapt after Frank chasing him around the tent.

"Chill, Hawkeye, we can restart the game" B.J said grabbing Hawkeye.

"Ah, no no no!"

"Pierce, how dare you treat a major like that" Frank snarls.

"Why, Frank, I thought it was ok to treat a Major Pain in the Ass like that!"

"You wait Pierce! You'll hear about this!"

"Not if his not listening he wont" jokes B.J.

Frank storms out

"Gees, hawk, its only a game."

"That's not the point, beej, i almost one!" Hawkeye said this very sarcastically.

"Hawk, I'm assuming that's this is not the only thing bothering you."

"Just the usual war, patients, Frank, food" he smiles.

"Hawk, you know its more than that, the night mares you've been having."

What night mares?"

"The ones where you wake up screaming!"

Oh, those, no you got it wrong Beej, there my good dreams!" Hawkeye was trying to brush this off.

"Hawk maybe we should talk about it..Now? or when ever..."


"Hey Margaret, how many left" asks a weary Hawkeye.

"One more, Captain" Margaret replies just as weary.

"Marg, my dear may i remind that no one calls me Captain and lives to tell the tale."

"Sorry, Pierce."

"That's okay, you can make it up by coming to my tent..."


"Pierce..." potter says yawning.

"B.J.., great now we all know each other!" Hawk says grinning under his mask.

"Please, can we get some quiet around here!" Frank snaps.

"Oh, your just jealous that no one mentioned your name" laughs B.J.

"Am not" he complains.

"Gees, its like being stuck with a bunch of 5 year olds!" Potter snaps, the tiredness is getting to him.

"Cept were all toilet trained" B.J says, taking the comment with ease.

"Except, Ferret Face over there" Hawkeye says glancing at Frank.

Hawkeye, B.J and Potter all burst out laughing.

"Really, Pierce, you cant talk, if only you could hear your self screaming at night" Frank smirks under his mask knowing that he's hit a nerve

The room goes silent, every one knows about Hawks night mares, no one dares mention them to him though. Every one is equally concerned about their best doctor and good friend, except Frank.

"Done!" Hawkeye says loudly.

"La-di-da-da!" Says an envious Frank.

"SHUT UP BURNS" Potter shouts. His concerned about Pierce, his eyes are black every little thing gets to him, you can hear him screaming at 3 am from across the compound, there is something wrong with this boy, but if he wont open up then there's no way to help him except...

The next day In Colonel Potters Office

"B.J, I'm worried about Pierce" sighs Potter.

"We all are, Sherm, but he wont tell me any thing and I'm his closest friend."

"Maybe we need to call Sidney?"

"You know how much Hawkeye hates talking about his feelings what makes you think he's gonna talk to Sid?"

"Nothing, son, nothing but Sidney will be able to tell something" "Radar..."

"Get Sidney on the line for Hawkeye as soon as possible, got it" Radar says coming in the office and turning to leave.

"Wait a minute son!" Potter shouts.

"Yes?" Radar replies.

"How do you know every thing I'm about to say? Do you listen with your ear pressed against the door?" enquires a curious Colonel.

"Or do you just set up hidden micro phones and cameras" jokes B.J.

Radar not getting B.J's joke" Oh no sir, I'd never do that, it would cost a lot and...and.."

"Now take it easy, son" smiles Potter "He's only foolin', but I'm not."

"Well sir its just that's you have a um very loud voice" quirks Radar.


"Going sir, sorry sir" he runs out startled.

"Harsh" B.J smiles.

"The little sod, voice too loud HA!"



"Your voice.. it is pretty loud especially just then" B.J laughs.

"OUT!" but B.J is already out the door in fits of laughter.

2 days later Sidney arrives, knocking on the door of Hawks and B.J.'s and Franks tent--just a note this was given the name "The Swamp" during episodes

Sidney knocks on the swamps door. "Come on in" Yells Hawkeye.

"Ah, Hey Sid, come down to play some cards. maybe try your luck with poker... or run off with a nurse?!?!"

"No, Hawkeye" Sid laughs. Hawkeye is busy changing into his blue Hawaiian shirt, when B.J walks in.

"Hawkeye" Sidney says, his voice full on serious " I think we need to have a talk" B.J hearing this turns and walks right out the door again.

"Sid, now you've scared off B.J, I was going to ask him if I could borrow his hat too" Hawk says in that straight funny joking voice... you know the one I mean!

"Hawkeye we really need to talk."

"Okay, Tomorrow then" Hawkeye says heading for the door.

"Why not now?"

"Because, my dear psychologist friend, I'll be down at Rosie's, getting drunk and if your lucky you'll pop in to see me dancing with a brown broom, or Beej depending how drunk I am!" With that he gives a hearty laugh and headed down to Rosie's.

At 1am Hawkeye stumbles in waking up B.J, and unaware that in the corner Sidney is there watching him

"Sor..sorry *hip* B.J *hip-up*" A drunk Hawkeye laughs.

"Quite alright, I was getting up any way."

Hawkeye falls on his bed, mumbling something about Rosie's and martinis. B.J walks over to Hawkeye and pulls a blanket over him. "Sid, he's fast asleep" Sidney walks over and looks at Hawkeye "Took his time didn't he."

"Mmm" agreed B.J " I don't get it Sid, how can some one who's happy and bright during the day and goes off to bed looking so peaceful, have night mares that wake up half the compound?"

"The other half don't hear Hawk then?" enquires Sidney.

"No they do, its just that there still awake when he starts yelling" smirks B.J.

"Mmm, you know Beej, maybe Hawk looks peaceful now but really he's suffering, maybe he's only bright and happy so he can hide himself, except when he sleeps his subconscious comes to him and takes control and lets out how he's really feeling."

"I dunno" says B.J as he rubs his hands over his face" Your the doc."

"I hope so."

B.J gives out a little laugh " You better get some sleep Beej."

At 3.30am

Hawkeye is happy, oh so happy, he's surrounded by his best and closest mates at Crabapple Cove. They're playing a game of Dare. Except Hawkeye changes the game by playing it on top of the steepest hill they can find that's packed full of snow. Hawk also says that the Dares have to have something to so with a sled, most agree, but some don't. One kid Dares Hawkeye to ride down the hill at full pelt, and his not allowed to use his legs to stop himself at any stage. He agrees. He mounts his sled at the top of the hill. He's nervous ,shaking, beads of sweat are running down his face. Some one pushes him unexpectedly and he's yelling and flying at the same time. The yells turn to whoops until suddenly he cant control the sled he heading for a tree his screaming now. Behind him he can hear faint yells. For one brief moment all his thoughts were gone then suddenly he's closer to the tree, closer,closer......

Hawkeye awakes screaming. B.J and Sidney are they're trying to calm him, but his still screaming. Frank wakes up and goes over to Hawks cot.


Hawkeye stops, his surroundings slowly come flooding back to him. "Frank Burns, you know what you just did" says B.J smiling a wide grin " what.. I didn't do" stammers Frank.

"Frank you just stopped Hawkeye screaming. Don't know why I didn't think off that. Thank goodness you did that. other wise I don't think he would've ever stopped!"

"Well Hunnicutt like I say, only the skilful can stop the idiots."

"That's why Hawk and B.J stop you continuously" Sidney and B.J laugh hysterically while Frank heads back to his bed mumbling something about respect.

Sidney and B.J turn their attention to a sweating Hawkeye. Sidney nods to B.J to go and then turns to Hawkeye.


Hawk takes off his blankets his grey t-shirt is now black from the amount of sweat. His hair is soaking and his heart is pounding as if he has just run a marathon. He slowly turns to face Sidney.

"Hawk what happened?"

"Its nothing just a bad dream."

"Hawkeye a bad dream is when you wake up looking for your mum, or you think you've wet the bed and then find out that you truly have. Your "Bad dreams" are true nightmares."

"Sid.. why am I getting these?"

Tell me Hawk some of your dreams and I can answer you/"

Reluctantly Hawkeye tells Sidney the snow dream and a few more.

"Hawkeye your dreams are from stress. Your suffering from that and probably more but I'm not going to prod around with that. Your subconscious mind is exactly that. When your relaxing, when you're asleep, your subconscious takes over and acts out your problems and lets every one else know. The problem with you is that you bottle up any thing that troubles you; you don't like to let others know your pain. So your subconscious mind thinks.. well his asleep lets show every one his true pain."

"So what your saying is that a) I don't go to sleep or b) i get a new subconscious mind."

"Or c) you express your self more, you tell some one if there bothering you, you tell Potter if your under too much stress."

"Thanks Sid."

"Any time Hawk, any time."

1 week later


"Potter, your in a good mood."

"Well, son I haven't been woken during the night for a week now."

"Ah your celebrating too."

Potter looks at B.J quizzically.

"Bump into Hawkeye and you'll see."

Potter walks down to the swamp and walks through the open door. He is greeted by a young looking fresh gleaming white face, Hawkeye.

"Good morning to you, Shermy boy!" smiles a wide eye Hawk "Although you should knock first."

"Son there's nothing to knock on."

"Sure there is."


Just watch this" smiles a devilish Hawk. With that he walks towards the door and motions for Potter to sit on His cot. He then points to the side of the door. There, tied to a hook in the wall is a piece of rope witch follows attached to a kind of alarm, which is right in front of Burns' ear. Then parked on the left side of Burns cot is wooden plank standing up right. Potter getting the idea lets lose a smile across his face. Then Hawkeye sees B.J and says quietly "Right on time."

With that Hawkeye pulls the string which sounds the alarm. Frank hearing this is startled jumps out of his cot and smashes right through the plank of wood, then falls back onto his bead with a dazed look on his face. Hawk, B.J and Potter burst out laughing. Hawks holding on to B.J tears running down his face."There you go Sherm, your 2 knocks!"

"Ahh Hawk, looks like your better" smiles Potter.

"Hell yeah...Hell yeah!"

The End

Authors note: Hi I'm only 13 years old so this may not be all that great. Yea it is like one of the episodes but most stories are and this is just a different version to the true one. If you would like to point out any tips or comments then e-mail me at babybomber33@hotmail.com Man how I love M*A*S*H. Funny though I got hooked to it in the 3 season from boredom nothing on TV so i watched M*A*S*H now its a part of my life... any way thank you all for reading this story