Hawkeye's Appendix

by Margaret Houlihan

Author's note: This is my first attempt in writing a fan fiction story, so it may be a little choppy. No new characters were created and the characters I used are property of 20th Century Fox.

It was a cold, winter's day in Korea, February 1,1952. The morning sun has just risen and the men of the Swamp are waking up.

"Good morning all", Charles said to Hawkeye and B.J.

"Knock it off, Charles", B.J. replied as Charles threw a pillow at his face

"B.J., I don't feel like myself today", said a pale looking Hawkeye

"Ah, you must be hung over from sipping too many martinis", said a snooty Charles as he was leaving for the showers

"I have a pain in my side that I think might be a hernia. I must have pulled a muscle while I was moving heavy supplies into the supply tent", Hawkeye replied as he was getting up

"Well, just let me know if it gets worse, Hawk", answered B.J.

Meanwhile in the shower tent:

"Good morning, Winchester. Ready to take in today's events?" asked Colonel Potter as he was getting in the shower

"Good morning, Colonel Potter. I'm always prepared for anything, unlike my colleagues Pierce and Hunnicutt", replied Charles, "They are always hung over and I don't know how they can operate under that condition"

"Winchester, are you saying that you're better than them?" asked Colonel Potter, "Or is that your ego talking."

"Oh, no Colonel, it's just the way they act off duty. You know always playing practical jokes on me. Well, I can't stand it at all", said Charles as he was getting out of the shower to put his robe on

"Get used to it because I'm in no mood to give you a transfer" said Colonel Potter as Charles was leaving the tent

Back at the Swamp:

"Hawk, are you sure you're alright? You look awfully pale and you can hardly get out of bed", B.J. asked Hawkeye

"Beej, I think I'm running a fever and my stomach is twisting in knots", Hawkeye said as B.J. got a thermometer

"Hawk, lie down on the bed and I'll press on your abdomen to find out what this pain is", B.J. said while putting a thermometer in Hawkeye's mouth

"Ouch. It hurts right there and my temperature is 102 degrees", said Hawkeye as he took the thermometer out of his mouth

"Hawkeye, you've got appendicitis. It's gotta be removed before it bursts" said a reassuring B.J.

"Beej, I want you, Charles and Margaret to assist. At least I know I can trust you guys", said a relieved Hawkeye

"Alright Hawk" answered B.J.

"What's the problem, Pierce", said Charles as he came back from the shower

"Say, Charles, how would you like to help me take out Hawkeye's appendix", B.J. asked

"Can't you do it, Hunnicutt?" asked a snooty Charles

"It just so happens that Hawkeye requested us to do the surgery", B.J. said to Charles

"Well, alright. You'll be in good hands, Pierce. Lets take him over to Pre-Op and get him prepped immediately", answered Charles

"Great! I'll try to find Margaret. She's gotta be around here somewhere", replied B.J.

Meanwhile at Father Mulcahy's tent, Margaret enters and asks Father for advice:

"Margaret, what a pleasant surprise. Is there something on your mind?" asked Father Mulcahy

"Yes, Father, there is. I don't know if you're aware, but I'm in love with one of the doctors, and I don't know how to tell him my feelings for him", answered Margaret

"Margaret, my dear, this doctor has to find out eventually about your feelings for him. May I suggest rehearsing in your own words to yourself what you will say to him?" asked Father Mulcahy

"Thank you, Father. I might just do that. You've just lifted a huge weight off my shoulders", said Margaret

"By the way, Margaret, who's the lucky fellow? I promise that as a priest that I won't tell anyone about this conversation", said Father Mulcahy

"Well, it's Hawkeye. I've had feelings for him since my divorce from Donald. He's always been there for me", answered Margaret

"Margaret, remember what I said", replied Father Mulcahy as Margaret was leaving the tent

As Margaret was leaving Father's tent, Klinger walks in with the mail

"Good morning Father and Major Houlihan! Here's your mail ,Father, and here's yours, Major. Oh, by the way, Major, Captain Hunnicutt and Major Winchester have requested that you report to the O.R. immediately", said Klinger

"Oh, my god! Klinger, has somebody been injured?" asked Margaret

"No, Major. The doctors have to remove Captain Pierce's appendix because it will rupture at any minute", answered Klinger

"I'm on my way! Father, come with me and say a prayer for Hawkeye", replied Margaret

"I'm coming, Margaret!" answered Father Mulcahy

In the O.R., B.J. and Charles were scrubbed up and were waiting for Margaret to scrub up as Hawkeye was lying on the table with sheets draped over him.

"Holy hemostat! What is all the commotion?" asked Colonel Potter as he entered the O. R

"It's my appendix Colonel. It doesn't like me so B.J. and Charles are removing it", replied Hawkeye in a joking mood

"I'm here and ready!" said Margaret as she entered the O. R. all scrubbed up

"I've come to say a prayer my son", said Father Mulcahy as he prayed to himself

"Oh, Margaret, you are the sunshine of my life", said Hawkeye

"Hawkeye, everything's gonna be alright. I'm here. B.J. and Charles are doing the surgery. You've got nothing to worry about. I'll be holding your hand the whole time", said Margaret as she was placing the anesthesia mask over Hawkeye's face

"Margaret, I love you!" said Hawkeye as he was falling asleep from the anesthesia

"I love you too, Hawkeye! I've always loved you!" replied Margaret as the surgery began

"Ah, Margaret, I don't think Hawkeye heard what you said because he was asleep", answered B.J.

"Well, you boys let me know how you get along. I'm going to my office and write a letter to Mildred", said Colonel Potter as he was leaving the O. R.

"Margaret, do you really love Pierce?" asked Charles

"Yes, I do", said Margaret with tears in her eyes, "He's always been there for me and I must confess my feelings I have for him"

"Hey, Charles, hand me the scalpel and lets have some fun" , B.J. said jokingly

"Scalpel, and here's some sponges, suction, and the retractor because I always like to have everything in front of me!" Charles said in a snooty way

"Pressure is 140 over 80. I think he'll be fine", replied Margaret

One Hour Later:

"Ah ha, here's the culprit who's been messing around with my friend's stomach. We've got the appendix out just in time because it was about to rupture. Close for me, Charles, and I'll alert Father Mulcahy, Klinger, and Colonel Potter", replied B.J. as he left the O. R.

"You did just fine, Hawkeye", said Margaret as she kissed his lips

Meanwhile, back at Klinger and Colonel Potter's office, B.J. enters.

"How's Pierce?" asked Colonel Potter, Father Mulcahy, and Klinger in unison

"He'll be just fine, but he'll be back on his feet in a few weeks", answered B.J.

"Klinger, I have to place a call to Crabapple Cove. I just want to tell Hawkeye's father that he's alright", ordered Margaret as she entered the office

"Hey Sparky, I want to place a call to Crabapple Cove, Maine to a Daniel Pierce", Klinger said as he was getting connected, "Hello, Crabapple Cove, yes put me through to Daniel Pierce. Here you go, Major", said Klinger as he passed the phone to Margaret

"Hello, Dr. Pierce? Yes, this is Margaret Houlihan. The doctors at the 4077 had just removed Hawkeye's appendix and he is in Post-Op. He should make a full recovery. The reason I called is because I care a great deal for your son. He's very special to me and I want to let you know of his condition. I'm gonna nurse him back to health. Thank you for your time, Dr. Pierce. Goodbye", Margaret said with tears in her eyes

Margaret leaves the office and goes to Post-Op to see Hawkeye as Colonel Potter, Father Mulcahy, B.J. and Klinger watch her crying

"What's the matter with the Major?" asked Klinger

"Klinger, Margaret confessed her feelings she had for Hawkeye. She told him that she's always loved him", answered Colonel Potter

"That's sweet!" replied Klinger

Margaret enters Post-Op as Charles was checking up on Hawkeye. Hawkeye starts waking up as Margaret holds his hand and smiles at him.

"I must be dreaming because you're holding my hand", said Hawkeye as he was waking up

"Hawkeye, I just talked to your father and told him about the appendectomy. He seems like a caring father, unlike my father", replied Margaret

"Is that why my stomach feels like it's been turned inside out?" asked Hawkeye in a joking mood

"Yes, but I held your hand the whole time. I guess you could call it payback time from when I had my appendectomy. I'm gonna nurse you back to health. Uh, Hawkeye, do you remember the last thing you said to me as you were being put under the anesthesia?" asked Margaret

"Yes, I said that I loved you, Margaret", answered Hawkeye

"And do you remember what I said to you Hawkeye?" asked Margaret

"No, all I remember was breathing in the anesthesia and going to sleep and waking up to see you here", answered Hawkeye

"Hawkeye, while you were under anesthesia and having your appendectomy, I confessed to B.J., Klinger, Charles, Colonel Potter, and Father Mulcahy that I had feelings for you. After you told me that you loved me, I told you that I loved you", replied Margaret

"Do you really love me, Margaret?" asked Hawkeye

"Yes, I've always loved you, Hawkeye, even when I was in love with Frank and Donald", answered Margaret

"Margaret Houlihan, I love you!" said Hawkeye

"And I love you too, Hawkeye Pierce", replied Margaret

They kiss passionately as B.J., Klinger, Charles, Colonel Potter, and Father Mulcahy watch them as they walk into Post-Op. "Ain't love grand", chanted all five men

The End