The Early Seasons Network

by Rob Morris

Announcer : Do you watch MASH, and wonder just who Trapper and Henry were? Do you watch Voyager, and think that Seven of Nine has been on for five years? Do you watch Deep Space Nine, and wonder what Sisko would look like with hair and no goatee, and no Dominion War to fight? Do you watch Bewitched, unaware that Darrin went through the change? Did you know that Worf was not always security officer, and that Beverly Crusher left for one season on Next Generation? Do you watch Highlander, and wonder what Duncan would be like with no Methos, but a steady mortal girlfriend?

BOY, do you watch a lot of TV.

Well, then, ESB is for you. ESB stands for Early Seasons Broadcast. Watch in wonder as Mr. Furley is replaced on Three's Company by a wacky couple known as The Ropers. Stare as Dennis The Menace torments Mister Wilson--and Gale Gordon is nowhere in sight! See Lucy and Ricky BEFORE Little Ricky was born. Watch Highlander anew, and wonder just when Tessa buys it.

See this blonde?

( Picture of Jennifer Lien )

This is NOT Seven as Annika Hansen! This is in fact a mysterious character known only as Kes! Ooohhh!!! Scary.

See this man?

( Season 1 A. Brooks photo )

Now, before you go thinking that Robert Guilliame visited his old buddy Rene from Benson, take a good look at the screen. This is Commander--not Captain, Sisko. Are the two connected somehow? Was there once a time when Odo was unaware of his heritage? A time when Keiko was more than just an off-set voice?

You'll also get the thrill of seeing the Will Riker from 'Insurrection' make his way to the small screen!

So, if a time when the word 'Maquis' was actually used on Voyager intrigues you, and if such novelties as a human Frank Burns and a Mrs. Kravitz who is NOT interested in her neighbors' lives draws you in, and if you want to see the seven Castaways actually wake up and say--'Oh, My God, we've been shipwrecked'.....

Then The Early Season Broadcast Network is made for you!!!

Coming to your cable system if! Your system is still trying to see if Mr. Turner's 24-hour News Network catches on.