4

ACT IV / EPILOGUE

Scene 20: INT. AFTERNOON, the Swamp. Hawkeye, B.J., Charles.

Hawkeye bursts through the door of the 'Swamp', and stands in the middle of the tent like an angel of vengeance, waving an unidentified bundle.

HAWKEYE
Okay, who did it??

B.J.
What do you mean?

Hawkeye gives him an abysmal look and holds the piece of cloth so that it is recognizable as his pajama pants. Just that they are a bit out of shape: they didn't have any openings any more. B.J. chuckles.

HAWKEYE
B.J.!

His friend looks at him with big eyes and opens his arms in a gesture of innocence.

B.J.
Don't look at me, my friend!

HAWKEYE
Charles...

CHARLES
But please, please! Don't bother me with your silly child's play!

Hawkeye is already halfway out the door.

HAWKEYE
Klinger!

B.J.
Forget it, Hawkeye. Klinger wouldn't waste
his sewing kit on something like this!

HAWKEYE
Well, but someone must've...

Hawkeye falls silent as sudden enlightenment strikes him. B.J. looks at him and bursts out in laughter.

B.J.
A sweet girl, isn't she?

Hawkeye throws the pants in a corner, shakes his head and walks over to his bed, where he falls on his back. Now he has to smile, too.

HAWKEYE
An amazing girl!