6

His look of understanding and sincerity touched her deeply. She knew that she couldn't lie to him. She put her head in hands and started to cry. "I don't know what to do BJ. I never expected to see him again. I love him so much." It scared her to say it out loud.

"Margaret, have you told him?"

"I tried to a couple of times. But he made it very clear that he just wanted to be friends. Then after he came back from the psychiatric hospital things just weren't the same. I wanted so much to comfort him and help him but he just pushed me away." She started to cry again. "I wanted to tell him the other day when we said good-bye but I just couldn't."

"Margaret, I really think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel." BJ stood up.

"I can't." She shook her head. "He just wants to be friends and I think that it's for the best." She paused. "Besides, I don't think he feels the same about me."

"You don't really believe that, do you?"

She didn't say anything she just stood up and walked to the other side of the supply room.

"Come on Margaret, I was there, remember. I saw the kiss." He got up and walked to where she was standing. "That wasn't just a kiss between two good friends. That was a kiss between two people who care for each other deeply."

"It was just a simple good-bye kiss. It didn't mean anything." She was angry.

He looked at her and smiled. "Who are you trying to convince," he paused before turning toward the door, "you or me?" He walked out of the supply room.

He was right. She was trying to convince herself. What should I do? She asked herself. She paced back and forth. Then, all of a sudden she stopped. She looked up and smiled. She had an idea, but she was going to need BJ's help if it was going to work. She ran out of the supply room to find him.

Hawkeye sat at the post-op desk trying to concentrate on paperwork but all he could think about was Margaret. They had been through so much together. Next to BJ, she was probably his closest friend and Hawkeye valued their friendship very much. He didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it.

He thought about all the times he had seen her so upset because Donald had done or said something. It had taken every ounce of strength he had to keep from running up to her, putting his arms around her and telling her how much he loved her.

When Margaret's divorce was final, Hawkeye wanted to tell her but he didn't dare. She was so upset and fragile and very untrusting. He figured she would think it was just another one of his practical jokes and probably hit him. So he decided they should just be friends.

As time went on and she became stronger and more like the old Margaret, he wanted nothing more than to tell her how much he loved her. But every time he tried, they ended up in some stupid argument. The divorce had done something to her. She used to be so confident and so sure of herself. And thanks to Donald she didn't trust anyone anymore, especially men. He wanted to kill Donald Penobscott for the hell he had put her through.

Then there was the bus incident on the Fourth of July and his subsequent trip to the Army wacky farm. After his return, he didn't have the courage to tell her. Margaret had approached Hawkeye numerous times to talk to him but he couldn't face her. He couldn't face anyone. He was still having trouble coming to terms with what had happened. Oh, he knew that baby's death wasn't his fault. Sydney Freedman had helped him realize that. But just the same it was something he would carry with him for the rest of his life.

Then the war was over and it was time to say good-bye. He never liked good-byes and this was going to particularly hard because he knew he was going to have to say goodbye first to the best friend he ever had and also to the woman he loved knowing he would never see either of them again. BJ, who had known for a long time how he felt about Margaret, had told him on numerous occasions to tell her how he felt but he just couldn't work up the courage. Then, as Hawkeye watched Klinger and Soon-Lee say their wedding vows, he couldn't help but think about Margaret. And as she was saying good bye to Charles, BJ and Colonel Potter he realized that he couldn't let her go without telling her in some way just how he felt. He thought about what he wanted to say but everything seemed so cliché. So he kissed her. The kiss lasted an eternity and he didn't want it to end. Finally they pulled away, said good-bye and she climbed in the jeep and she was gone . He was sure that he would never see her again, or so he thought.