Premise: This is a new, continuing story I have asked David Long to post to 'Best Care Anywhere'. Its rough, and needs improvement. That's where you come in. If anybody has a different take, write it up. As long as it resonates within a canonical framework, go for it. 4*0*7*7* is the story of the total MASH 4077th, with all major characters under one continuity roof. There are no superhuman characters here, and no postwar stories.
Part 1 by Rob Morris
As Trapper headed out for the evening, he felt he should ask his bunk-mate to go out with him one last time. This, even though he knew what the answer would be. No one could spend the war just reading. It was a waste of good nurses.
"Hey, since the old man is raking Hawkeye over the coals, I need a second. Howzabout it, Choir-Boy?"
BJ Hunnicutt looked up from his reading only briefly.
"Do you absolutely have to say things like that? Just because I'm not pinching every bulbous behind in the KTO, do you have to ride me?"
Trapper regarded himself in the mirror as he responded.
"I'm not looking to be cruel, Hunnicutt. But, understand, what you'e doin' is just not natural. A man in a war zone needs some release, plain and simple. You go your way, you're cruising for an emboulism."
"Thanks, Trapper, but its my emboulism, right? Peg is worried enough without me climbing in and out of every bed I can find."
Trapper checked his jacket for any surprises, then shook it a few times.
"That sounds almost like a lecture, Beej. My wife will do fine, by virtue of her not knowing anything about all this."
"And if she did find out?"
"Then I would explain to her, that in a war, you get through. Its a wife's job to understand that. Savvy?"
"Oh, I understand, just fine. But I don't want Peg to have to understand. Understand?"
"Keep on your high horse, BJ. But take some advice. Stray. Once in a blue moon, stray. Otherwise, you'll be miserable a lot more often than you need to be. Then, one day, something will just happen, and you'll feel worse than you should about it."
"Yeah, whatever. You're lady friend is outside--her!? I thought she was married?"
Whether she was or not, the comely nurse had BJ thinking the kind of thoughts he thought he had completely fought down. He was wrong.
"No, she's not married, Prince Valiant. Hey--who's this? This picture on my cot--this isn't one of my girls--unless I'm a really bad father."
"Oh. Sorry. I was showing Hawkeye Erin's picture. They had me in basic before we got her home."
Trapper stared at the newborn, and suddenly casual sex didn't seem quite so casual anymore.
"Well, listen, I...gotta go."
"Have a good time, Trap..I mean it."
"Oh, well, you know--I'm gonna try."
But the thoughts of BJ's evening were now not so quiet, and Trapper's good time was just a little less so.