Deal Me Out
Major Sidney Freedman, the psychiatrist, and Capt. Sam Pak, an ROK officer, arrive at the 4077th for a
"conference" that's really a poker game involving Hawkeye, Trapper, Col. Blake and Klinger. Radar
borrows Blake's jeep to go into town, while Frank Burns prepares to operate. When Frank learns his patient
is an intelligence officer, he refuses to operate until another intelligence officer is present - in
case any secrets are uttered under sedation. The game is in progress when Radar returns informing
Blake he ran over a civilian. Blake leaves the game to take care of the old man, Hwang. When Hawkeye
and Trapper learn of Frank's dilemma they decide to operate instead, lest the patient die. Meanwhile,
Frank attends to Pvt. Carter, a mentally troubled soldier. Capt. Halloran arrives in post-op to learn from
Frank that Hawkeye and Trapper operated without him. Halloran tells the duo that they are under arrest.
Henry rejoins the game but Radar quickly appears to say that Hwang wants fifty dollars not to report
the accident. Capt. Pak knows Hwang as a professional victim, but they still chip in to help Radar.
When Hawkeye and Trapper tell Halloran that their patient didn't say a word, he joins the game. They hear
gunshots and learn Frank is trapped in the shower tent by Pvt. Cater. While Freedman talks to him,
Trapper slips in under the tent and subdues the young soldier. Finally, by reveille, the poker players
are back at the table and the game goes on.
Source: Twentieth Television
Airdate: 12/8/1973 (episode 37, season 2)
Writer: Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Director: Gene Reynolds
Producer: Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds
Associate Producer: Burt Metcalfe
Capt. Pak --- Pat Morita
Major Freedman --- Allan Arbus
Halloran --- Edward Winter
Private Carter --- John Ritter
Klinger --- Jamie Farr
Hwang --- Jerry Fujikawa
Clip 1 (52 K)
Clip 2 (41 K)
- Klinger: "Hi, sirs. Sandwiches from the mess tent."
- Hawkeye: "Hope everybody likes carrier pigeon."
- Klinger: "There's ham, chicken, and something brown that just lays there."
Clip 3 (98 K)
- Radar: "Colonel?"
- Henry: "Not now, Radar."
- Radar: "Oh, but, sir..."
- Henry: "Radar, whatever it is, sign it, cancel it, or order five more."
Clip 4 (95 K)
- Hawkeye: "You never enlisted, did you, Klinger?"
- Klinger: "When they came for me, I ran like a thief right into Grand Central Station. They
trapped me in a pay toilet."
- Trapper: "Beautiful."
- Klinger: "It cost them four dollars in nickels to get me out."
- Hawkeye: "I love a volunteer."
Clip 5 (51 K)
- Radar: "I was driving along and all of a sudden I felt this thump. I think
it was a thump."
- Henry: "Was it a thud or a thump?"
- Radar: "No, it was more like a thump. It was..uh..real sharp like.
Yes, it was definitely a thump, sir. A Korean thump."
- Henry: "Why a Korean thump?"
- Radar: "'Cause I ran over a Korean."
Clip 6 (84 K)
- Flagg: "This man's head's full of intelligence."
- Frank: "That's not my department, sir. Intelligence is something I try to avoid."
- Flagg: "I can see that, yes."
Clip 7 (38 K)
- Hawkeye: "Sidney, what's the psychiatric basis for gambling?"
- Sidney: "Sex."
- Hawkeye: "Why?"
- Sidney: "I don't know. They told me to say it. Sex is why we gamble.
Sex is why we drink. Sex is why we give birth."
- Hawkeye: "Thank you, doctor."
- Sidney: "I'm taking a five dollar chip, that was a house call."
- Pvt. Carter: "You know, you got no clothes on."
- Frank: "Well...I like to take them off when I have a shower."