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Big Daddy O'Reilly

Posted:
2/9/2011 5:39:07 PM

BDOR Rewrite: Hanky Panky

Here's how I think the scene between Hawkeye and B.J. could've been better delivered...

*******

B.J.: And I'm miserable... I'm a happily married man, not like Frank Burns is happy because his wife owns real estate...

Hawkeye smirks and nods.

B.J.: I don't like being unfaithful! I'm not looking around, I'm lucky to have what I've got.

HAWKEYE: You're right. You ARE lucky.

B.J.: God help me.

HAWKEYE: Look, B.J... you stumbled last night, that's all. You were helping someone who had hit rock bottom... it may have progressed to more than that, but it was a mistake.

B.J.: I sure did.

HAWKEYE: (Looks at pad) What's that?

B.J.: (Sighs) I'm writing Peg about it.

HAWKEYE: (Pause) You're WHAT?

B.J.: I'm writing Peg about it.

HAWKEYE: What, are you crazy? (Grabs note and crumbles it)

B.J.: What are you doing?

HAWKEYE: Saving you from making another mistake... (Tosses note into stove)

B.J.: Huh?

HAWKEYE: Look Beej, you've already made the mistake you're being punished for, there's no need to make another mistake by punishing her too.

B.J.: What do you mean?

HAWKEYE: Do NOT tell Peg! Don't tell ANYONE what you've just told me... this is going to pass.

B.J.: Like a kidney stone.

S.F.P.D. Commissioner McMillan's son

Posted:
2/7/2013 11:46:37 PM

congratulations
Big Daddy O'Reilly wrote:
Here's how I think the scene between Hawkeye and B.J. could've been better delivered...

*******

B.J.: And I'm miserable... I'm a happily married man, not like Frank Burns is happy because his wife owns real estate...

Hawkeye smirks and nods.

B.J.: I don't like being unfaithful! I'm not looking around, I'm lucky to have what I've got.

HAWKEYE: You're right. You ARE lucky.

B.J.: God help me.

HAWKEYE: Look, B.J... you stumbled last night, that's all. You were helping someone who had hit rock bottom... it may have progressed to more than that, but it was a mistake.

B.J.: I sure did.

HAWKEYE: (Looks at pad) What's that?

B.J.: (Sighs) I'm writing Peg about it.

HAWKEYE: (Pause) You're WHAT?

B.J.: I'm writing Peg about it.

HAWKEYE: What, are you crazy? (Grabs note and crumbles it)

B.J.: What are you doing?

HAWKEYE: Saving you from making another mistake... (Tosses note into stove)

B.J.: Huh?

HAWKEYE: Look Beej, you've already made the mistake you're being punished for, there's no need to make another mistake by punishing her too.

B.J.: What do you mean?

HAWKEYE: Do NOT tell Peg! Don't tell ANYONE what you've just told me... this is going to pass.

B.J.: Like a kidney stone.

Good work on this segment, too.
Also, I've good news, I hope to submit the title "RADAR VS. THE GREMLINS" within the coming months.

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